• Pray before you make the call.
• Be a good listener.
• Tell them how sorry you are for their loss.
• Ask if there is anything you can do.
• Ask if you can come by and bring some food for the family (if you are local).

Don't:

• DO NOT Tell them stories about other people who have died.
• DO NOT Ask them to return the call if you get the answering machine.
• DO NOT Ramble on about your own problems or what's going on in your life.
• DO NOT Tell them you understand.
• DO NOT Tell them "all things work together for good".  (Although true, they don't want to hear that right now because it brings little comfort in the beginning)
• DO NOT Say anything in the realm of, "It's for the best" or "You can have more kids" or "Things can always be worse" or "Look on the bright side..." or "You need something to take your mind off of things."
• DO NOT Say anything that starts with "If you don't mind my asking..."
• DO NOT Ask them to give you a call if they need anything.  (Put yourself in their place and try to anticipate what they might need.)

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